A life changing decision that led me here!
A note I sent out on reddit exactly one year back..
I am going to share this story because I decided to take a risk. I had no clue of what would happen in the future when I took the decision to leave England behind, but here I am. A year after I wrote this following text on my reddit, I am in a totally different position; more focused about my writing, riding with a purpose, working intently.
I am only sharing this to say that things weren’t always like this! It took me a long time to get to this place.
Hitch-hiking from Swansea to Mt. Snowdon
I was a mature Indian student studying Arts in England where I got exposed to the ugliness of the university education during covid. I was alone in the halls, reading through western/eastern philosophers and mystics during the lockdown. That's when I took a bold decision to not travel back to India and instead go workawaying at a farm in Huntly, Scotland. I think I learned many necessary skills that would carry with me for life. This was the time when I got exposed to the nomadic lifestyle living in Inverness, Aberdeen and Edinburgh. I decided that I wanted to pursue this kind of life in the future.
I finished my degree the next year, worked as a gallery assistant at the Martin Parr Foundation in Bristol, sold some of my photographs to private collectors, created a website, saved some money and decided it was time to leave.
An open air exhibition of my work in Cheltenham, UK.
Coming back to India was good but the intellectual stimulus I got back in the UK was almost gone and I was thrown back into my old culture. I kept going with the work, pushing my work online, working on some gigs and living a cheap lifestyle. Then I travelled Vietnam, Nepal and within India to visit all the places where there was an existing nomadic base. When I went there I realised that there's a lot more open window of opportunity and existing ex-pat framework that makes this lifestyle possible. They are less involved with the locals and form an alternate space for themselves. For a native like me, it seems impossible to do that. It's like a fake character - plus I saw a lot of problems within my society which I couldn’t let go of.
I came back to my hometown and decided to walk across India to understand my culture more deeply. After walking 1850 kms from Arabian Sea to Bay of Bengal, I decided to write a book (also available on kindle) on it and create a documentary. Basically, I was using this time to improve my soft-skills. I started a podcast on youtube. Everything was going right until it didn't.
Tryptic from the series ‘The Forgotten Ones” in
a private collection in Edinburgh.
Somewhere along the line, the sale of my work started depleting due to lack of contact with the British clients. The walk introduced me to an extremely negative side of the world and I made a journey into many of my unconscious depths. I retired to my village and spent time meditating and doing labour in my grandparents farm.
Now after almost 6 months of retiring to my village, I am ready to get out. Having been cut out from internet for a while, I find it difficult to understand where I stand. My book is with a publisher but its taking long to publish, the documentary is half-done. (The book got out recently - the documentary hasn’t.)
I have skills like video-editing, writing, photography, adventure writing but none of them seem to make any money for me right now. I am almost broke with no future plans. Before, when I was in England, I was an internationally published photographer and my work was getting sold. I know I took a big risk and I still don't want to move to the normal way of work. I am figuring out ways but nothing seems to be working at the moment. I don't know whether I took the wrong decision.
This post is not for you. It is to remind myself that I did not give up even when everything around me was going wrong. I was clueless about my future and yet in these vulnerable moments I did not give up! This is a pat on my back. Keep going my friend. We’ve got this..
“Journey to the East”- is currently available as a paperback through my website and on Amazon Kindle globally.
If you would like to help me out in other ways, you can buy me a coffee via paypal, www.paypal.me/ashutoshjoshistudio. You would think that a couple of dollars/pounds won’t mean much, but it does, especially in India where it is difficult to make ends meet as an artist.
You can buy my first book “Journey to the East”, a memoir about an 1800 km walk through India, through my website .
If you would like to buy prints of my photographs, you can choose the photographs you like on my website and send me an email. I will send you custom quotes for the sizes you’d like.
Wow, what a story. And how valuable those experiences must have been, though it might not show monetarily.
I wish you much luck on the rest of your path!
Many pats on your back! :)