Wow! This is new. I have never been 27 before.

What does it even mean to be 27?

Wow! This is new. I have never been 27 before.

This is my first time, and I am thinking to myself what does that even mean?

I am sitting in a café in the middle of a jungle writing this down; and yes, this is exactly the life that I had imagined. Maybe not up to the mark, as I had planned it, but almost there. Here, there are friends that I meet once in a blue moon, nomads who come and go, one can hardly keep a track of them and then there are the nomadic locals who travel between their home in India and this place. A hot cup of coffee sits on the table next to the charging station, a book and the laptop that I type this on. Isn’t this the definition of a 21st century digital nomad? I guess its still a thing.

How lucky am I to live like this! I could have been in an office somewhere, working for some company on the 50th floor if it were not for this crazy ride that I decided to take. Life is inherently risk driven - at least the point at which I am standing, and the rewards are infrequent, but, the calmness that comes with such a slow and moderate life is something that I wouldn’t trade for anything else. For the past 2 and a half years life’s been like this. I farm in my grandparents village, write for a couple of NGO’s and work on new and interesting projects that are not driven by capital but by spirit. Reading, swimming and gardening are the past time activities that I do. By this time, you must be thinking, this is a 60 year old dude trapped inside the body of someone in his twenties. And maybe that is what I am. I feel old now - although not in a physical sense.

As I reflect back, I see that I grew up in a tiny village which made the base on which I am now standing. This is why I like living a slower life, because I have experienced it growing up- unlike many of my friends who grew up in cities. It is impossible to understand what I mean unless you live in a place which is surrounded by community and nature.

Back to where I am, there’s a Finnish friend sitting on the other side, who I met some five years back when I was backpacking around India. She’s here to heal her back. We have just returned from a long walk on the beach, where we sat by the sand while looking at the mountains and jungle that surrounds. We were two mad travellers who knew only one thing - to rebel - we now find ourselves sitting in peace talking about vipassana and tantric buddhism - that’s a strange detour, isn’t it? ..but that’s just how things are on my side of the island. The desire to be a label in this overly mechanised world has already passed by and I find myself in a place where I am just happy to live while doing simple things, a game of table tennis, an evening swim in the ocean, an hour of meditation and the in between moments when I meet people who ask me - so what are you doing here? to which my answer always is - nothing. I like doing nothing. I like sitting and watching the trees, the waving paddy fields, the stars and work follows when it has to.

Before arriving here, I was sitting in an old flour mill which is now turned into a cafe, where I sat next to a yoga instructor speaking -strangely enough- about Jordan Peterson, there are things about him that I don’t like but yes I like 12 Rules for life and no one can tell me otherwise. Isn't it soothing to sit in your skin and be who you are without trying to act like someone else? There are things that I like, which I say out loud and for some reason I don't care what other people think of my opinions. I don't care anymore about what society thinks of me. That's fucking liberating, isn't it? I wish I knew this when I was 18. That no one, absolutely nobody gives a flying fuck about what you do. Sorry. It's my birthday week and I am going to use all the fucks that I haven't in the past year. I usually don’t use it at all. So, anyway, that’s where I am at.

Last evening, Emmi asked me to stay for a bit longer and I agreed. Santeri, her school friend from Finland, had flown in from Sri Lanka to meet her. Three of us sat while watching the sun hide under the black rocks until it was purple and then dark. We went into a hidden place which served amazing wood-fired pizza. Our topic of discussion- on life and death. What is this life about? Why this duality? It seems like one moment you know and the next moment, you are totally lost. I learned about some Finnish/Nordic festivals, we spoke of Rainbow gatherings and finally took turns on the three massive pizzas that had entered our table. I don't know maybe good food is the answer to all things; or maybe solitude; or a couple of friends... Whatever it is, I didn't have the urge to think of any of it - the pizza was that good!!

That brings me to where I am at, crossroads, like always. Sitting on a project that has been on my hard-drive for almost a year and a half- and finally its coming out. Many people have extended themselves to help me out. I am thankful for all of you who have. You help me live this life. Its a comforting feeling, knowing that I don’t have to read the manuscript, or that I don't have to wait for an agent to get back to me after two months. This is real freedom. Sitting in this place, sipping coffee and not having any other thought about what my future would look like. In a sense, it's good that I don't know. It gives me enough headspace for innovation. Uncertainty puts me in a beautiful space and I wish I could share this with others. Maybe this is why I am writing. That's what I want you to know. Fucking go out there and live a life. It's too short to share fake smiles and act like you are someone or something. You are nothing. You are just another dude who is walking under the stars, isn't that incredible enough? We are the children of God, brothers and sisters of God, creators of our own realities. Isn't that enough to feel humble? Isn't that enough to go out and live!?

It certainly is for me and if it is for you, I will soon find you on the other side of this bench, not necessarily this one but you know what I mean. I am so happy that all of you are feeling alive and well. If you are not, then make yourselves feel that way. I know you can, because I was most certainly the lamest guy who found peace within myself.

Until another rotation. See ya.

Buy my book btw. Cannot stress that enough. All my thoughts, experiences, are in there and it is a whole another story in itself. So wait a few more seconds- head over to www.ashutoshjoshi.in - then get the book by scanning the qr code if you are in India. In case you are outside India - hold on - don’t run away, you don't have anything important to do. There is a paypal checkout which says PRE-ORDER. Do that and I'll send you a thankyou note once you have done that.

Bye for now.